It is common, even for adults, to feel anxious when facing new situations. It happens to us all throughout life: when going to school or university for the first time, or when starting a new job for example. Meeting new people in a new environment produces anxiety. In the case of many of the families that have joined Unity’s parents community, it isn’t only a new nursery for children, but a new country, new language and culture, and a new education system. It is definitely out of the comfort zone.
For most children, their comfort zone are parents / carers and their home environment. That’s all they know. Parents and home ARE (with capital letters) their secure place. When little ones are faced with a new situation, like starting in nursery for instance, they have to separate from what represents to them the only secure place they know and love. But unlike adults, children cannot verbalise their feelings and cannot discuss pros and cons of joining this or that nursery.
Children will experience a mix of feelings. Perhaps at first a feeling of excitement, of being surrounded by other children, with new activities that catch their atttention in a place where everything is designed for them. That first exploration will be amazing and parents will be exploring this new environment along with their child. It is crucial in this initial process of discovery to give children every reassurance that everything is fine.
The role of parents when settling-in starts is to introduce the new environment and key teacher to their child. It goes a long way in establishing trust, when children see that their parents are comfortable. The first few days parents stay in with their child, to reassure all is well. Then the time they spend at the nursery starts to decrease, as the chilldren become more confident in the new surroundings. Inevitably at some point, parents will have to leave and separate from their child. This will cause confusion and mixed feelings. Your child would probably think “why are the only people I know and love the most leaving me with strangers?” But remember: children cannot ask this question verbally, they will cry instead to communicate that they are nervous and anxious with the new situation. This is entirely normal. It is a new feeling that they need to express somehow, as settling-in is basically an accelerated acclimatisation process.
For parents, hearing their child crying is heart breaking, for sure, though children have an amazing capacity to adapt. In fact they do it much better and definitely much quicker than adults. Children soon understand that their parents will always come back. It takes time for them to do so, and it depends on each individual child and circumstances. Once they become used to the new environment, teachers and other children, a new bond of trust is established, perhaps for the first time, between parents and their child. By this point, children would have had plenty opportunities to adapt and embrace this new situation, they will happily say goodbye to parents with the certainty that they will come back, always. Very soon after the tears will stop. That is when the period of settling-in ends.
Rather than blowing our own trumpet on how this transitional period works it is best to read what one parent recently commented on Unity’s settling-in process:
“Our daughter started at Unity in September. We were apprehensive about her settling in as she had not settled in at her previous nursery. All the staff at Unity are so warm and caring that within a few weeks our daughter was ready to say bye to us and confidently walk in on her own. We were so happy and surprised at how much she loved being there every day. Her speech and language had developed quickly and she has grown in confidence. We know she is well looked after and receive weekly updates on her progress. Thank you Alex and the team at Unity”
